I miss SPAM?

Gmail is excellent at filtering spam. I've started to miss the amazing community of assholes known as Spammers. They still bombard me with their demands to click on their links. I have 804 right now, these are the gems from the first two pages. Charm someone tonight by reading these in your best poet's voice. They're short and to the point -except the one with Russian literature.

1.
Get pretty strong bone-on!
Make her feel your wang

2.
Make it intense
Genital growth secrets

3.
Women prefer steel in your pants than gold on your hands.

One more question, count, he said, which beg you to answer in all sincerity not as a future mason but as an honest man.
He went in a traveling coach with six horses, surrounded by pages, aides de camp, and an escort, along the road to posen, thorn, danzig, and konigsberg.
There is everything, everything in her, continued this man.
Anatole kept on refilling pierres glass while explaining that dolokhov was betting with stevens, an english naval officer, that he would drink a bottle of rum sitting on the outer ledge of the third floor window with his legs hanging out.

By the way, a quick google search reveals this talk of Anatole is an excerpt from Tolstoy's War and Peace. Nice try Spammer but your copy lit and paste failed to fool the filter.

4.
Be a love rhino
Bring hot-rod to life