Monday, January 18, 2010

Sci Fi Summaries. Best Gifts.

For a long time the best gift I ever gave was an obscure book about draining Kirkland Lake for mining that my dad vaguely remembered. Thanks to the internet for finding that one. I had never got my mom a 'next level' gift until, one Christmas, I realized that she was an insomniac who read Grisham all night. Well now, thanks to me, she's also read everything James Patterson wrote.

I can understand how gifts in a relationship can become very symbolic. Will early handmade presents give way to hastily bought chocolates? Liz and I have set our bar frighteningly high. We make shirts for each other with obscure stencils of Nagi Noda or Song Kang-ho. Now, since I spend my days writing, she created this blog, of sci fi novel summaries, to inspire me. Check it out: 365daysofscifi.tumblr.com

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Shifting Identities

I've noticed that when a mix of people are brought together (particularly in a high school class) there are generally the same amount of leaders, troublemakers, keeners and quitters -which make me wonder what personalities have shifted.

Leaders will emerge in a room full of shy people and troublemakers will emerge in a room of squares.

That our lives are not our own but a matter of the room we are in.

It's fascinating and frustrating to realize that our lives are conforming to broad statistical predictions.

And now I'm going to see if this sketch involving a bear attacking the pope is still funny or if we were in a mood.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I miss SPAM?

Gmail is excellent at filtering spam. I've started to miss the amazing community of assholes known as Spammers. They still bombard me with their demands to click on their links. I have 804 right now, these are the gems from the first two pages. Charm someone tonight by reading these in your best poet's voice. They're short and to the point -except the one with Russian literature.

Get pretty strong bone-on!
Make her feel your wang

Make it intense
Genital growth secrets

Women prefer steel in your pants than gold on your hands.

One more question, count, he said, which beg you to answer in all sincerity not as a future mason but as an honest man.
He went in a traveling coach with six horses, surrounded by pages, aides de camp, and an escort, along the road to posen, thorn, danzig, and konigsberg.
There is everything, everything in her, continued this man.
Anatole kept on refilling pierres glass while explaining that dolokhov was betting with stevens, an english naval officer, that he would drink a bottle of rum sitting on the outer ledge of the third floor window with his legs hanging out.

By the way, a quick google search reveals this talk of Anatole is an excerpt from Tolstoy's War and Peace. Nice try Spammer but your copy lit and paste failed to fool the filter.

Be a love rhino
Bring hot-rod to life